Plumb Undone

Hubby dear decided it is time to "fix" the plumbing in this old house. The pipes are old. They have been added to multiple times. The water pressure sucks. And there are pipes going nowhere. 
There are pipes going in circles. Almost. 

I asked him, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
I said, "We can get a plumber."

Him. "We don't need a plumber. I can do this. Nothing to it"

Yeah, right. 

He spent all day in the basement. 
I came home from work and headed upstairs to work on my own project. As far from the basement as I could get. 

I try very hard to not get involved with his DIY projects. They are recipes for 10 kinds of hell. 
I cannot hold a flashlight where it works for him. Have you ever tried to aim a light for not your own eyes?  
I cannot tell him what diameter a pipe is just by looking at it. 
I cannot find the tool he just had. 
I cannot read his mind. 

So. I'm upstairs. 
After 4 hours, I have done all I can on my project. Which, by the way, does not entail shutting off utilities. 

He has been "fixing" the plumbing for 8 hours. 
He is not winning. 
Foolishly, I ask how it's going. 
"If you want to know, come down and watch me!"
This was not a polite invitation. 
This was a statement that I wasn't being very helpful. 
I try to be helpful. 
"How about taking a break and I'll fix dinner"
Sneer, "I'm not eating dinner with sewer hands. I have to get the water on to wash my hands. That plate is not for me. I have sewer water on my hands"
There were other words I chose not to type. 

I'm starting to become annoyed. I prefer to be able to flush the toilet after use. 
And the dog's water bowl is empty. The dog keeps looking at me. Damn. 

Eureka!

I approach the DIYer. "The water is warm enough now, you can wash and eat. Then tackle the pipes after a break."

"Where'd you get water?", suspicion that I'd gone into the basement and was flooding it. 

"Outside."
"What?"
"Snow."

Yes, 4 inches of fluffy water. Pop it in a pan. Turn on the flame, poof!  Warm, handwashing water. 

After eating dinner with clean hands, his brain began to function again. 
"I can replace this join with a shut off and we can have water in the upstairs bathroom. And at least cold water downstairs. Then I can start tomorrow to get the rest done." he's all smiley and smart now. 

Tomorrow I have to work later. 

I hope it's later enough.