Thursday, September 15, 2011

Advice From a Crappy Mother

Mama’s Losin’ It
I linked to Mama Kat's  this week. I chose prompt #5.) Advice to new mothers

I can hardly be called an expert.  I have only one child, because I'm not a natural mommy type.  Children always made me uncomfortable.  I lack patience, a necessity when dealing with young people. 

So, who am I to advise a new mother?  I'm an observer, a watcher. 

My first bit of advice?  Relax, New Mommy!  You're doing fine.  All the advice your friends give, all the stuff you read on the internet?  It's all someone else's opinion, it may have been good for them.  But, if it's not comfortable for you, it's not going to give you confidence.

During my scary passage into motherhood, most of the advice I received was from my own mother.  Most of that advice was good.  But, I found the best lessons I learned came from my own experience.  My own experience and listening to my inner mother.  Because i had that, though I didn't recognize it until much later.  I had that "instinct" to take care of, to love my child.

Did I do a stellar job?  No.  I did not.  That lack of patience was a problem.  My own selfishness, my need to not lose myself into mommydom, was a problem.  Being a single mother was harder than I thought it was going to be.  Then marrying a man who, even though he loved my daughter and myself, had control issues that made ours lives less than pleasant at times, was a problem.

Looking back, my biggest mistakes make up the advice I would give.

Say "I love you" more often.
Play those endless children's games that make you crazy until the child is finally bored.
Hug your child every minute you have.
Do not put anyone else in your heart before your child.
Take more pictures.
Listen to everything they say, it's not all baby talk.
Listen to your inner mommy, it's smarter than you think.
Say "I love you" more often.
No matter how tired you are, pay attention to them, let them know you're there.

And if you make mistakes, don't panic.  My daughter turned out fine, in spite of her mother.  She even lets me hang around with the grandkids.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

If I Was a Hoarder...

I wrote for prompt #2 If I was a hoarder...

Mama's Losin' It

If I was hoarder, what would I hoard?

That's hard, because I'm not a hoarder.

Oh, I have several dozen bandannas. In different patterns and colors. But they fit into two small dresser drawers.  And they have a function. I wear them, one at a time if course, at work.

I have a rather hefty yarn stash.  For projects I'm going to do someday.  Those people that gave it to me were just going to throw it away!  That?  Would be wasteful.

I stopped saving glass jars and margarine tubs a long time ago. I didn't have room for my teapot collection, so they just had to go.

And doesn't everyone have a dozen, or so, Christmas trees?  They all need lights and ornaments. And matching tree skirts.  And the three dozen nutcrackers were inherited from my mother. And the acrylic Christmas decorations from Avon are so pretty. And the Christmas carol singing mice started with my dad.

And the husband is putting a floor in the huge attic for storage.  So we can have the guest bedroom again.

So, since I'm not a hoarder, I just can't think of anything I'd hoard.